Baby likes Halo!

So, I posted a picture on Facebook today:

It spawned quite a bit of commentary among my family. Such as:

Uncle Blair: "YES BEST PICTURE EVER YESSSSSSSSS"

and

Aunt Sara: "Hahaha! Ya know her uncles LOVE this! :)"

and

Aunt Katie: "John Mark is xbox live telling me to find this picture. he loves it."

and 

Mimi: Child abuse! Rescue this child, Brooke!

Seriously, in my defense - Clara loves the TV.  Yes, I know better than that.

1. I know it's not okay for a baby to watch tv - because it is totally passive and babies don't learn language or ANYthing from tv 
2. AND that it is actually detrimental to children under age 2 
3. WHICH is why Disney refunded EVERYONE that purchased a Baby Einstein video in the past two years....pant, pant, pant. Whew!)  
4. BUT, if we have the tv on, she will stare at it unless we turn her away from it or turn it off.  
5. So she does get some exposure, and it is incredible how captivated she gets.  
6. Mommy does her best to keep her from it, but if Daddy is in charge while Mommy does other things - I can't micromanage his time with her...(at least, as long as I remember not to micromanage his time with her). 

I truly am FREAKED OUT by the fact that she might LIKE Halo or video games...but it is also kinda funny too.

Stretch!

Baby massage is a huge thing now days.  It is a praised cure for fussy babies and gas relief.

Well, this Mama happens to love a good massage; so, whether or not it fixes anything for Clara, I thought it was worth a try.  Initially, I used it as a calming technique when she was 2 months old and would show signs of being tired or just generally fussy but didn't need to nurse or have her diaper changed, etc.  It has now turned into the cutest stretching routine after her naps.

I will get her up from a nap, feed her and then change her diaper, redress her and the stretch routine commences.

While she lays on her changing table, I:

1. Grab her little hands and lift her arms up above her head and say, "Uuuuuup!" while gently pulling one arm and then the other slightly higher.
2. Bring her arms down by her sides and say, "Doooooowwn." again alternating which arm I pull slightly lower than the other.
3. Repeat 2 or 3 times until she seems to have gotten the stretch she needed. We end on an "Up."
• I can always tell when she is enjoying it because she will arch her back as we go "Up" and crunch her tummy and pull up her legs when we go "Down."
4. Run my palms down her arms until I get to her upper back and rub/pull in little circles.
• "We're gonna get that baaaaack.  And that looooow back."
5. Alternating sides, firmly press into her hips/butt muscles with the heel of my hand in circular motions.
• "And those hiiiips."
6. Grab the tops of her thighs and pull all the way down to her feet.
• "And those leeeegs.  You like that, huh?"
• She always straightens out her legs and flexes her feet as soon as I grip the top of her thighs.
7. When I reach her ankles, I then run my thumbs on the underside of her flexed feet to her toes.
8. Kissing each foot, I say, "I got your feet!  and your toes!  Mwah, Mwah, Mwah, Mwah, Mwah!  Alternating which foot I kiss and which toes I munch.
9. Lastly, holding her feet, I push one foot up so her knee is bent and as high on her tummy/chest as it will go while pulling the other down and straight.  I alternate each leg and will either sing to her or tell her we are going running or whatever comes to mind that day.
• This is a sure-fire way of getting her to pass some of that gas that she constantly has in her belly. 
• We just cycle away until she seems to have finished passing gas or seems ready to move on to see the world.

Clara will sing, coo, smile, and laugh during this whole stretch routine.  It's great for her body, it helps with her gas, and it is fabulous bonding time for the two of us as she awakens and rejoins me for a new part of the day.

Limp Limb

When Clara was about two months old, we started a bedtime routine:

• 7:00pm - feeding
• 8:00pm - bath; followed by diapering, baby oil, pjs, swaddling, lullaby

For the first 2 weeks of this routine, Alan or I would then walk her around the house, sway with her in our arms, etc until her pacifier fell out of her mouth and she fell asleep.  We discovered that, if we put her down too soon, she would wake, and we'd have to start the walking routine again or "babysit her pacifier" (read "Thump") while she was in her crib.

We finally realized that we weren't waiting long enough.  She needed to have "limp limb" before we put her in her crib. 


1st:

• Sway, walk, rock, nurse her to sleep until pacifier falls out.

2nd:

• Her eyes are close completely, but her eyelids continue to flutter and her breathing is still irregular. 
• Her hands and limbs are flexed or will jerk if we try to move them, and she will startle, twitch, and show fleeting smiles, called "sleep grins." 
• She continues a flutter-like sucking even without the pacifier (so we hope - sometimes it being gone is enough to wake her up). 

3rd: (and this was the new part)

• Continue this ritual about twenty more minutes!!!! 
• Grimaces and twitches stop; her breathing becomes more regular and shallow; her muscles completely relax. 
• Her fisted hands unfold and her arms and limbs dangle weightlessly. This is what Dr. Sears calls - the "limp-limb" sign of deep sleep.

Well, he was right.  Sure enough, we just needed to wait longer and she would go straight into bed.  At this point, we weren't too worried about instilling bad habits as we still consider her in the "un-spoilable" age-range until she hits 4 months.  But we do believe in establishing a routine (bath, etc) which has served us really well so far!

The trouble became the waiting for 20 minutes!  Walking her to get her through the first two phases is back breaking and then to have to stay upright for 20 more minutes became too difficult. We quickly forgot about waiting the 20 minutes and have moved onto new routines knowing that we can't let her get dependent on that in the long run

...PLUS she always wakes between this cycle and the one that will start a short 45 minutes later.  And we just hope a pacifier will knock her back into a state of comfort and security and that she will quickly slip into the next cycle and stay asleep for the night.

Sound cyclical?  I'm sitting her wondering if this is the last cycle right now as I hear her cry while Alan tries to soothe her between cycles.

Thump!

...goes the pacifier. As it drops out of the mouth of our sweetly sleeping baby girl and hits the crib mattress.

Our hearts drop.  We wait in anticipation.  Will she sleep through the loss of her pacifier or shall we jump and run to place it back?

Kisses

A small but incredible moment this morning:

Clara had just woken up for the day after a very long night of sleep.  She was still a bit groggy.  Normally she wakes up in her crib and kind of talks to herself for about half an hour before she calls to me to get out of MY bed and play with her!

Today, her Daddy and I were both already awake and Daddy went to get her.  He was hoping to get the usual leg kicking, squealing, gummy smiled, reaction to his appearance over the side of her crib.  Alas, she was too tired.  So, we all sat on the couch together, and we told her how beautiful she is and how much we love her.

I proceeded to kiss her cheek and Alan joined in.  As we traded off, each of us kissing the other cheek, she began to close her eyes and open her mouth in a relaxed but gummy smile.  She slowly began to fall from an upright position until her head was completely rested against Alan's arm, slowly sliding down, down, down, as she yielded to the seeming ecstasy of Mommy and Daddy's kisses.

Our hearts swelled!

The Flatulence Cure?

Poor Clara has suffered from tummy bubbles since the day I brought her home.  She has always swallowed a lot of air during her feedings and, while the sputtering and choking and gasping and gulping comes and goes, she continues to deal with a lot of bubbles on her tummy and a ridiculous amount of gas.  It just isn't becoming on such a beautiful girl!

I've researched different things about what I eat that might be causing it, and we have done infant massage which she really enjoys (especially as a stretching routine after naps).  But I really thought there must be something wrong with the way I was feeding her.

I got particularly worried last week.  She went through about 5 days of a growth spurt centered perfectly around her 3 month birthday.  She was eating constantly and even lately has seemed to eat more frequently than I really thought was necessary especially since she would tire of one breast quickly (within a couple of minutes) but would take the other breast as if she was ravenous - only to get frustrated with it within a couple of minutes.  My concern grew to include a fear that she either was only getting foremilk or maybe I wasn't making enough when I used to make too much!

Well, after a conversation with my bestest girlfriend, Kelli, where she mentioned "gripe water," I embarked on a research journey which raised a few concerns but ultimately led to a great article about lactose overload from the La Leche League International website.  I felt much more knowledgeable and was ready to tackle a conversation with Clara's doctor's office today.  After a great 30 minute conversation with the nurse, we picked up Mylicon for Infants at the grocery store.  It is basically the active ingredient in Alka Seltzer.  My husband, Alan, thinks the drops smell like a snowcone!  I think he's a bit jealous! We give it to her about every two hours or at each feeding or before bedtime.

I am really hopeful that, with some revised feeding techniques and a little bit of medication as needed, Clara can finally stay asleep for longer naps and have less difficulty  falling asleep at night.  Poor Clara Bug!  She's such a sweet girl!  I hate to think that if only I had come to this conclusion sooner, she might have been a much happier and essentially stress-free baby!

Crappy mood

Pregnancy really does a number on your mood.  There were so many times when I was pregnant that I could FEEL the heat rise in my neck and ears as I would overreact to something.  Fortunately, I knew it was my hormones and MOST of the time could step back, laugh, and say, "Wow, my hormones are out of wack!  Sorry!  Clearly, I need to change the subject!"

I was quite hopeful that that would change once Clara was born.  Not so!  Breastfeeding apparently continues the craziness for quite a while!  The frustrating part was that, when I found this out, no one could tell me when I would go back to "normal."

I don't even know what normal is anymore.  I had so many physical complications while I was pregnant - which affected my mood.  Plus, the hormonal changes - which affected my mood.  Then c-section plus general postpartum physical recovery plus additional physical ailment recovery difficulties - which is affecting my mood.  And breastfeeding continuing the hormonal imbalance - which is affecting my mood.

I got asked yesterday - "are you feeling more like your pre-pregnancy self?"  Thank goodness it was in an email because I completely scoffed.  I hate to be such a downer, but sometimes I just don't even know how to respond because I don't know what it was like to be me anymore or if and when it will come back.  And it puts me in such a crappy mood when I think about it.

Today, the problem is that I WASN'T in a crappy mood.  But, apparently, I said something on Facebook to two different people about two independent things who then either responded with an inquiry as to whether or not I was mad at them or to about how I must be in a "feisty mood" today.  Ahh!!  I was not mad nor in a feisty mood.  But guess what?  Now I am.

I'm so sick of being so volatile!

Coffee

warm. soft. snuggles.

...

i can't.  i just can't.  i can't get out of bed.

...

turn. pillow. embrace. warm hand. warm foot. 

...

we'll never get up.

...

and then i remember...the sound of water from the faucet. the clink of the carafe.  the sound of the grinder.  the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

I can. I can start the day.  And now I can't wait!

A Schedule Emerging!

Clara has a schedule!  Or so we thought!

We really can't ask for a more fabulous baby when it comes to her sleep patterns.  Since she was 2 months old, she has been "sleeping through the night" which only requires 6 straight hours of sleep.  She was going to bed around 9:30, occasionally had a feeding around 11, always had a feeding around 3 or 4, then one at 6, and then one at 8.

She soon dropped the 11pm feeding and the 3-4am feeding merged with the 6am feeding which would typically occur right before dawn at about 5:45am.  It was fabulous!

A couple of weeks ago, around 3 and a half months old, Clara was going to bed around 9pm but then having a hard time staying asleep until 11pm.  It made the evenings hard but she started delaying her morning feeding until closer to 7am!  The best part was that while bedtime was getting harder, naps were getting easier.  Nap time is still not consistent, but she was showing a consistent pattern of only being able to be awake for about 45 minutes before I would need to put her in her swing for a nap and she would just drift off within about 15 minutes while staring at "happy man" - a little finger puppet we had attached to her swing mobile.

My Husband. My Rock.

Adding Clara to our family has been a much anticipated and incredibly joyous event in our lives.  She is such an expression of the incredible bond that Alan and I have. Before Clara was born, I would get the most emotional when I would think about how she is completely Alan and I - together in a physical way that almost makes me jealous!

Before Alan and I got pregnant, we were told things like "enjoy your time together" or "you should really wait until your relationship is strong enough."

My husband is my best friend.  We've been together since our senior year of high school and have grown together as we continued to mature through the college years and our years as married adults.  I am so thankful to God for putting him in my life.  He is the husband that I was afraid to hope could even exist.  He completes me in every way that I need - and has continued to amaze me at how perfect he is for me that weren't evident when I first "picked" him.  We laugh.  We laugh all the time.  Everything is fun together.  And when things are hard - we naturally lean on each other and - it isn't so hard anymore.

One of the main things that makes our lives together such a pleasure is communication.  We talk about everything.  We share the little things with each other and take joy in knowing what and how the other is feeling or thinking.

One of the hardest things about being a parent is the lack of time available to have those conversations.  Time is short and you have to try to condense everything into a few words and within whatever time presents itself to you.  As a result, even the best of communicators can have a hard time communicating much.  And on the hard days, when I need the most support - there seems to be even less of that time available.  As that communication breaks down, the bigger the divide and the harder even the simple struggles seem to be.

While I don't subscribe to the "be sure you have many years together without kids to be able to be happy together with kids" philosophy, I am so thankful for that time that we did have.  A simple, short hug in the kitchen - in the middle of my poor attempt at making dinner - will bring me back to all the moments we have had together.  The cumulative effect of years of moments have been amazingly powerful and can keep me going until Clara goes to bed and we can have an hour or so together.

My husband is my rock.  My life is the amazing life that it is because of him.  We can do anything together; and everything is wonderful because of him.

The Parental Obsession

PARENTAL OBSESSION #1

SLEEP

Everything revolves around sleep.  How much sleep did I get last night?  How long has the baby been sleeping?  Is she about to wake up?  Why must she always wake up as soon as I am sitting down to eat?  Is she getting enough sleep during the day?  How long should her naps be at this age anyway?  The magic touch/routine/process I thought I had in putting her to sleep last week, or yesterday, or this morning isn't working!  What do I do now?

"They" told me that once I was a parent, I'd understand.

I thought they were just cynical. And I knew my skills as the oldest of six would guide and protect me from the perils of parenthood.  I just knew I could handle this and that it would be the most wonderful thing in the world.  Surely they were just exaggerating and ungrateful of the incredible thing they had.  Why must they always tell you of the horrors of parenthood?  And then just follow the horror story with - "but it's all worth it."  It is the most incredible gift to have a child!  A CHILD!  That should be the first thing that ever comes to mind.

Well, now that I'm a parent - I understand.

The seemingly little things become incredible obsessions and can be overwhelming.  But - every once in a while, I will catch a glimpse of Clara and I in the mirror while I'm desperately trying to get her to fall asleep and I am taken aback by her sheer size, her sweet face, her pudgy fingers, and I take a deep breath.  I breathe her in. And I enjoy that very moment in time and give in to the obsession of CLARA.