Friday, July 23, 2010

Crappy mood

Pregnancy really does a number on your mood.  There were so many times when I was pregnant that I could FEEL the heat rise in my neck and ears as I would overreact to something.  Fortunately, I knew it was my hormones and MOST of the time could step back, laugh, and say, "Wow, my hormones are out of wack!  Sorry!  Clearly, I need to change the subject!"

I was quite hopeful that that would change once Clara was born.  Not so!  Breastfeeding apparently continues the craziness for quite a while!  The frustrating part was that, when I found this out, no one could tell me when I would go back to "normal."

I don't even know what normal is anymore.  I had so many physical complications while I was pregnant - which affected my mood.  Plus, the hormonal changes - which affected my mood.  Then c-section plus general postpartum physical recovery plus additional physical ailment recovery difficulties - which is affecting my mood.  And breastfeeding continuing the hormonal imbalance - which is affecting my mood.

I got asked yesterday - "are you feeling more like your pre-pregnancy self?"  Thank goodness it was in an email because I completely scoffed.  I hate to be such a downer, but sometimes I just don't even know how to respond because I don't know what it was like to be me anymore or if and when it will come back.  And it puts me in such a crappy mood when I think about it.

Today, the problem is that I WASN'T in a crappy mood.  But, apparently, I said something on Facebook to two different people about two independent things who then either responded with an inquiry as to whether or not I was mad at them or to about how I must be in a "feisty mood" today.  Ahh!!  I was not mad nor in a feisty mood.  But guess what?  Now I am.

I'm so sick of being so volatile!

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