Pregnancy really does a number on your mood. There were so many times when I was pregnant that I could FEEL the heat rise in my neck and ears as I would overreact to something. Fortunately, I knew it was my hormones and MOST of the time could step back, laugh, and say, "Wow, my hormones are out of wack! Sorry! Clearly, I need to change the subject!"
I was quite hopeful that that would change once Clara was born. Not so! Breastfeeding apparently continues the craziness for quite a while! The frustrating part was that, when I found this out, no one could tell me when I would go back to "normal."
I don't even know what normal is anymore. I had so many physical complications while I was pregnant - which affected my mood. Plus, the hormonal changes - which affected my mood. Then c-section plus general postpartum physical recovery plus additional physical ailment recovery difficulties - which is affecting my mood. And breastfeeding continuing the hormonal imbalance - which is affecting my mood.
I got asked yesterday - "are you feeling more like your pre-pregnancy self?" Thank goodness it was in an email because I completely scoffed. I hate to be such a downer, but sometimes I just don't even know how to respond because I don't know what it was like to be me anymore or if and when it will come back. And it puts me in such a crappy mood when I think about it.
Today, the problem is that I WASN'T in a crappy mood. But, apparently, I said something on Facebook to two different people about two independent things who then either responded with an inquiry as to whether or not I was mad at them or to about how I must be in a "feisty mood" today. Ahh!! I was not mad nor in a feisty mood. But guess what? Now I am.
I'm so sick of being so volatile!