The sleep dilemma.

After coming off sedation after her visit in the PICU, it seemed that Clara was never going to sleep.  We were told her body had been sending signals to "awake awake awake" during sedation, and it was going to continue for a while even though nothing is suppressing her anymore.  So, the first three days and nights back in oncology left us with a very overtired, awake baby.

Additionally, she has been really jumpy, easily startled, and will scream if you touch her face when she isn't expecting it.  They had been putting prophylactic steroids in her eyes FOUR times a day.  One of our nurses told us that she had used the same eyedrops when she was ill once, and it feels like you are pouring sand in your eyes!  Once I understood that it was worse that the "sting" that we were originally told she would experience, I had a much harder time giving her the eyedrops.  And, I completely understand why she has gotten so easily upset.

So, if you combine those things together, you have a baby that can't sleep and screams when she realizes she isn't in my arms.  After 3 days and nights and a cumulative 5ish hours of sleep for me, I started thinking about co-sleeping with her.  I simply couldn't function well enough to be able to care for her. 

After a nurse that I really love and trust suggested it yesterday morning, I decided to try co-sleeping with Clara.  I NEVER would have considered this before.  In fact, had anyone mentioned it to me previously, I would have quoted all the bad things that can happen to baby when you co-sleep.  But, Clara wasn't sleeping unless she was being held.  Or, if I had been able to successfully put her in bed it would only last about 20-30 minutes.

After a discussion with the head nurse last night and signing a hospital liability waiver regarding Clara's safety due to our decision, we slept.  In fact, I slept from 11pm until 7:30am with only three 15-30 minute interruptions to feed Clara and for the nurse to take her vitals.  It was AMAZING!  I was a new woman today although still a bit fatigued.

There is only one problem.  After Clara got a taste of good sleep, she couldn't stop.  Until an hour ago.  She slept from 11pm to 9pm.  Yup.  22 hours straight and hasn't really eaten since her feeding in the late evening yesterday.  I have a feeling we may be up watching movies, drinking coffee and playing with a - hopefully happy - very awake baby.