5 Months Old

Clara turned 5 months old today.  I put up a sign on her door so that everyone would know and bought her a balloon at the hospital gift shop.

She had a hard day.  She had her PICC line cleaned and redressed which wasn't fun as they pin her down.  And, she had an ultrasound because of concern about her kidneys.  Her pain seems to be worse, and she is showing more sources of discomfort.  Her nose is running, eyes are watering, stomach hurts before she poops, and she is now being given ~7 oral meds over the course of the day.  I was literally traumatized after her night nurse gave her two of the meds.  She made Clara spontaneously throw up at the first one and scream and struggle more than I have ever seen with the second.  I took over after that.  She looked like she was shoving it down her throat not into the side of her cheek. We have started giving her her pain meds every 5 hours instead of 6 due to her overall discomfort today, and, while she has had more awake periods today, they haven't been very happy.  Alan did take one snapshot, however, that made me cry.

My Aunt Shelly Schutze sent me this necklace which I got today.  I have no words for how small, delicate, simple, and powerfully beautiful this piece is.  It is the Miraculous Medal on top of a heart with "peace" engraved on the top and "Clara" on the back.  The thought of the blessed mother looking over me and the peace that we want for Clara