It's my last morning at home with Clara and Alan. We go into the hospital this evening.
It's been a great weekend. I got a lot done yesterday: freshly washing all of our clothes, and packing Clara and I. So now the only things to do today are sterilizing her toys (we will be leaving all her stuffed/fabric toys at home since they can't be sterilized), sterilizing my toiletries and toiletries bag, and cleaning up the house (packing away all of her stuff and putting them in her room so that they aren't scattered around the house while she isn't even at home.
It's kind of odd going through these steps. It is almost like we are packing for a vacation or for moving. We've pretty much depleted the fridge of everything fresh in anticipation of eating hospital food, frozen dinners, or out at restaurants for the next month. And the process of putting everything of hers into her room is a big reminder of when she was first diagnosed and we kind of chose to hide "her" from us in the house so that when we would occasionally sleep at home at night there wouldn't be so many reminders that she wasn't here - and might not be coming back.
This time, it's a little bit easier. We've lived at the hospital before and for a (hopefully) much longer period. Cleaning is always nice for me because it restores order in the house and calms my OCD mind. Plus, I am really hopeful that this is the last time we will have to have a long-term admission to the hospital. It is easily possible that we will have daily therapy in the Day Hospital after this is over. And, we know we will have at least 2-3 visits to the clinic for the first 6 months or so after transplant as we fine tune her immune system. And if she ever has a fever (which we anticipate could easily happen over the next couple of years), we will be in the hospital until she has gotten a course of antibiotics and is no longer feverish.
But, despite all the work we've had to do to prepare this weekend. It has actually been very relaxed. Clara is continuing to amaze us with her growth. She was hardly sitting up on her own when we were discharged at Thanksgiving, and now she is pulling up to stand, and really enjoys crawling over Alan and I in bed in the morning although she has yet to find much success at crawling on the floor. Watching her continued growth gives us the courage to believe that will continue when transplant is all over and done with.
I must get back to my tasks, but wanted to at least update you all on the current events.
2 comments:
Thinking about you so much, Brookster! I know this journey is filled with every possible human emotion, often all at the same time I imagine! Yet you are handling it with your usual amazing aplomb and grace.
Much, much love to you three!!! I am sending so many prayers, thoughts, love, positivity, etc. this week. I feel that it will all be okay and life will move forward before we know it. I can't wait to come visit you all as soon as possible!
Love - Sara
Try to keep in mind that this is a positive step for her. She's beaten the fungus and is now moving on to the most important step for her. She's a tough little woman!
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